![]() If you’ve been successful in centring, adjusting your attitude and engaging with inquiry and useful purpose, building sustainable solutions will be easy. Asking for the other’s point of view usually creates a sense of safety and encourages them to engage. If the conversation becomes adversarial, go back to inquiry. Whatever they say, find something you like and build on it. Ask the other person what they think might work. Brainstorming and continued inquiry are useful here. Now you’re ready to begin building solutions. Maybe we can talk about how to address these issues so that my intention is clear.” ![]() I don’t mean to be a critic, though perhaps I sound like one. When I introduce problems within a project, I think about its long-term success. For example: “From what you’ve told me, I can see how you concluded that I’m not a team player. What can you see from your perspective that they’ve missed? Help clarify your position without minimizing theirs. When you sense the other person has expressed all their energy on the topic, it’s your turn. Saying, “this sounds really important to you,” doesn’t mean I’m going to go along with your decision. I’m not trying to persuade you in either direction.” The acknowledgement helps both parties to re-centre.Īcknowledgement can be difficult if we associate it with an agreement. For example, if you are in an argument with a friend, you might say: “I notice I’m becoming defensive, and I think it’s because your voice just got louder and sounded angry. No guarantees.Īcknowledge whatever you can, including your own defensiveness if it comes up. They will not change unless they see that you see where they stand. Guess at their hopes and honour their position. Repeat back to them what you heard so you can ensure you fully understood what they said. Try to understand the other person so well you can make their argument for them. You’ll get your turn, but don’t rush things.Ĭoherent means showing that you’ve heard and understood. Learn as much as you can in this phase of the conversation. ![]() Whatever you hear, don’t take it personally. What do they really want? What are they not saying? Let the person talk until they are finished. Watch for their body language and listen for unspoken energy as well. Pretend you’re entertaining a visitor from another country, and find out how things are for them in that place how certain events affect the other person, and what their values and priorities are. Pretend you don’t know anything (you really don’t) and learn as much as possible about the other person and their point of view. (For most people, this means doing some preparation work in anticipation of the Unbridled Conversation).Ĭultivate an attitude of discovery and curiosity. Remember, this is not about you, so ensure that you control your emotions and approach the conversation in such a way that you do not contaminate it with unconscious feelings or mixed body language. Consider how the behaviour you are addressing is impacting the team and the business. Get to the root cause and focus on this matter rather than the symptoms that might be showing. Most Unbridled Conversations falter because there is a lack of clarity about the real issue. Centring is not a step centring is how you are as you take the steps.īe clear on the reason for the conversation and the outcome that you desire. By choosing the calm, centred state, you’ll help the person you are speaking with to be more centred, too. Breathe, centre and notice when you become off centre and choose to return to the centre again. It is key that you stay in charge of yourself, your purpose and your emotional energy throughout any Unbridled Conversations.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |